Q: Will I have to talk about my relationship(s)?

A: You will lead this process. You do not have to talk about anything you do not want to address. We do not need to discuss relationships the first meeting, or any meeting, until and if you are ready.

Q: My parents/caregivers think I need therapy and I do not agree. I am fine and my relationships are fine. Can they make me do this?

A: This is your life and only you know what you are thinking and feeling. I will not assume that you are secretly sad or upset about something that you do not actually think about. Sometimes talking about your life can help you understand what you want and how to meet your goals. And no, they can’t make you do this :)

Q: Will my parent/caregiver be involved?

A: If things come up and your caregiver can help us, we might invite them into a session. This will be something we decide on together. For example, if we want more information on a family relationship and this requires asking difficult questions, we can do it together. Another example is if you want help sharing information or asking for something you need. When you and I are talking together, what you tell me is confidential and will not be shared (with a few limits, which I will tell you more about during our first meeting).

Q: This is virtual therapy and I hate having my camera on. Is this mandatory?

A: No. I will have my camera on for our sessions so you can see that I am listening and focused on our conversation. Ideally you would have your camera on too, so I can read your face and better understand how you are feeling. If you prefer, you can keep your camera off. Maybe there are times when you want it on and days when you need it off. You decide what you are comfortable with.

Q: I have tried therapy before. Why would it help this time?

A: If therapy is not helpful, we do not have to work together. Hopefully you will give me a chance, to see if I am different from your previous therapists. We can discuss what you liked and disliked in the past, so I can try not to make the same mistakes. You may also be different than you were when you tried therapy and felt it was not worth your time. We are all constantly evolving and changing. This could be the moment when therapy is beneficial.

Q: What if you are not a good fit for me?

A: I have worked with children and teens for 25 years. It is very difficult to offend me or shock me. I appreciate honesty and direct communication, which is one of the reasons I love this age group. No one can make you talk or participate. I am here for whatever this is, and I will make it clear to your caregiver that I cannot perform miracles and will not force anything. It may take several weeks or months for you to get comfortable and this is ok. It may not help at all, and we can both be honest about that with your caregiver. Maybe someday you will want support through therapy, just not now. If you are willing to give me a chance, for even a few sessions, I will do my best to really listen and understand your perspective on what you want and need.

Q: Will I have to be in therapy forever?

A: No. In our first few meetings we will talk about what you want out of therapy. It may be to feel better in general. It may be to make a plan for your future. It may be to have better peer or family relationships. It may be to stop getting in trouble at school, or to better control your anger or outbursts. It may be to make the basketball team. It may be to gently explore a loss and to start to grieve. It may be to make your caregiver stop nagging you about getting into therapy! Whatever it is, when you feel that you have made progress and do not wish to work on any more goals, you will “graduate” and we will no longer meet. Some clients gradually reduce the number of sessions per month, or meet with me once in a while after “graduating,” to check in, or if something difficult comes up.